Getting married is not as easy as it looks. Everybody will need to ask themselves if they are indeed ready to settle down. Some couples take a few years living together before making a decision. Some just met somewhere but decided to get married in a church somewhere. There are a lot of challenges before somebody asks someone to settle down. Things like if there is enough money in someone’s bank account to buy a house. Are the couple ready to become parents? Or, is there enough budget to buy a modest and elegant long sleeve wedding dress? Something like that will need a careful decision before asking the big question or saying the much-awaited answer.
Most of the advice would tell somebody to take their time. But, what does it take to know if someone is ready? Here are some things to consider before settling down:
Consider the couple’s values
Failed relationships start on contradicting values. There are instances that a man and a woman are getting into a fight almost every day. It is an obvious sign that a couple should need to go on their separate ways.
There are some situations that a couple could start a fight just because of simple matters. But, no matter what the discussion is, they decide to resolve it before the day ends.
It is easy to identify if couples are compatible. The simple things that they both like and dislike would determine if they are for each other. Respect for each other’s values is essential, as it is the foundation to a happy married life. Religion, politics, family values, and beliefs are just common values that a couple should consider to stay in a happy relationship.
Careers and goals
Settling down is not the end of the world for any couple. Though everything is shared, couples need to keep their personal goals and careers. Everybody needs to understand that what they do is necessary and a part of their identity. Based on Pew Research center, women are more into leaving their jobs after marriage.
Good communication with each other is key to solve this type of issue. A couple should consider laying out all the possibilities and expectations to come up with an agreement. It is also a part of planning for the family on how they would raise their children.
Checking the finances and other sources of income
Every couple will have to realize that getting married is not easy. The couple will have to come prepared for the finances. It is essential to discuss the budget for coping with family emergencies, sending children to school, and paying bills. Money matters are the common thing that a couple argues. It is the source of unnecessary arguments that could even lead to separation. Proper understanding of a couple’s finances helps them accept and plan for a better solution.
A couple also needs to discuss their debts. Not being transparent about debts will surely lead to trouble in the future. Some couples keep it a secret until they are married, but only lead to a failed relationship. Some even go to trials with these things. Trust issues may arise once these topics have not been opened up before marriage.
What couples should expect
Being married is not a fantasy movie that after a princess is rescued from the tower, it’s the end of the story. Marriage is not all about a convenient life. Couples should know about the challenges of parenthood and how they could solve unexpected issues like house repairs, etc. They need to learn the reality of things that there may be times that they wanted to get out of the relationship because of problems. But they have to be strong to achieve a happy married life.
A couple should remember how their parents handle the situation before them. They should ask for some honest advice before getting married. Parents will always know and provide expectations as they have been there. They would know if a couple is ready and if not. Most people are independent, but it is not harmful to seek some help before getting married.
Consider the family background
Many couples would immediately jump to married life without checking the family’s background. They would say that they knew their partner too well, but certain attitudes could surface once they settle together. A couple should know each other’s background. They should open this topic while they are not married.
Couples should have to learn if there are hereditary diseases that could manifest with their children. Couples should ask each other how are they when they are growing up? What values did they learn? What are their family’s habits? And even their beliefs. These topics are all essential for a stronger relationship.
